You can fight the loneliness epidemic by talking to strangers

jNotes

Growing up, we were taught all about “stranger danger” and to never talk to strangers. They were lessons best learned by children who’s natural curiosity overrode their wariness. They are lessons best forgotten by adults who have somehow found themselves feeling isolated.

Loneliness is now being described as a global public health crisis, with new data showing it is both more widespread and more physically dangerous than many people realize:

  • A 2025 WHO commission estimated that about 1 in 6 people worldwide are affected by loneliness at any given time.
  • A 2025 global estimate suggests roughly 24% of adults 15+ report feeling lonely, rising to around 27% among young adults 19–29.
  • The U.S. Surgeon General has said the mortality risk from chronic loneliness and social isolation is comparable to smoking about 15 cigarettes a day, and similar in magnitude to obesity.
  • WHO’s 2025 analysis links social disconnection to over 871,000 deaths per year globally, or about 100 deaths every hour, through impacts on heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and other conditions.LINK
  • Lonely adults are far more likely to report serious mental health concerns. One recent U.S. survey found 81% of lonely adults reported anxiety or depression, and about 74% said they had little or no sense of meaning or purpose.LINK

Chronic loneliness is comparable to smoking a pack a day. That is an INSANE statistic when you really think about it, and highlights how very important human connection is to us.

Evolution shaped us to be social beings, wired to connect with those around us. But somewhere in the noise of our digital lives, that instinct has been pushed aside. Now, we tire quickly of real interaction, get “peopled out”, and retreat to our screens to stream, scroll, and tune out the world. Being anti-social is cool, everyone’s doing it. But it’s not so much the “people” part as it’s the quality of the interactions we’re having that are leaving us drained in those moments. Modern society is literally making us sick.

Let’s find some connection. Somewhere. Anywhere. Our need for others doesn’t have to be the sole responsibility of our partners or children. We can all help each other fulfill these needs. Let’s go talk to strangers.

A study based on a 2.5k person survey (GenWell 2021) found that participants more likely to greet neighbours and strangers at least weekly reported being happier, with those reporting daily / almost daily interactions with a greater association. This is true of interactions of all sorts; brief chats with cashiers, baristas, fellow commuters, and people on the street.​ Experiments where people were instructed to talk to strangers on trains or buses found their commute was more pleasant than expected, contradicting the common belief that others don’t want to engage.

How to talk to strangers

Start small. Say “hi”. That’s literally all you have to do. The worst thing that happens is that someone will not say “hi” back. This is really all it comes down to. Make the effort for connection. It’s ok that it starts a little awkward, so long as it starts.

Give people something to solve. Notice something, point it out, then ask a question about it. Humans are generally curious and love to figure things out.
“How do you think they got that [SOMETHING BIG] up there?”
“Hey, does that guy’s shirt really say what I think it says?”
This is what’s called an observational opener: spot something, frame it as a mini‑puzzle, then invite them to weigh in.

Ask to join a conversation. At a networking event or social gathering, maybe next time don’t just try to squeeze your way into a group and hope they notice you. Ask them.
“Hi, I’m James. Mind if I join your conversation?”
You could even throw in a bit of vulnerability.
“… I’m new around here and don’t know a lot of people.”

A few things happen here. First, they pretty much have to acknowledge you. It will trigger their “friend or foe” senses and because you are asking a question, you are showing a soft spot. This often pushes them towards generosity. It is rare they will say no, and it is common they will purposefully engage with you more than had you just suddenly materialized like a creep within their group.

There are many other strategies to get started connecting with those around you, but the main idea is to reach out. Most people are craving connection as well, and generally will be very forgiving of your social awkwardness. Talking to strangers will also help you build confidence, as confidence comes from experience. You will get better at it, and feel better as you start to spread little sparks of joy throughout your world. They may even start doing this on their own, creating a healthier and more connected community.